feelings right now

sometimes you just don't know how you feel: maybe you're happy, maybe you're sad; but you're certainly growing

I don’t know why but I am not really feeling good right now. I’m maybe ok, I don’t know. I am actually very confused. There happened and are happening so many negative things but also so many positive things and I don’t know if this is a positive or negative phase of my life. It drives me crazy, this nescience drives me crazy, this confusion in my head drives me crazy. Today I realized that in the last year/one and a half year I learned so many things and maybe that’s what I’m realizing just right now. I learned so many things about myself, about our earth, about mother nature, about meditation, about having an inner calm, about being just me with all my craziness, my cringeness, my happiness, my sadness and every single emotion that makes me, me. I believe that in my whole entire life I never had such a period of growth and development especially mentally. I just started the journey of understanding myself, my body and everything I need and I’m very excited of what the future holds for me.

Dear myself in a year, I hope you are not as confused as you are right now and I hope you learn more things about yourself, about feeling your emotions intensely and I hope you are going to be more balanced inside and also outside. I love you. Your old self.